Dear Killjoy

So, I wrote a tune while on tour this summer! We were in Middletown, NY for about 4 days and I happened to have a few moments of downtime. I found myself standing in the sanctuary of the lovely old church where we were hosted, sifting through some thoughts that had been percolating. Amidst the time-worn pews, I was working out the kinks of lyrics and melody, yet, there was something much deeper being worked out within my heart.

You see, the week before I went to join the Extreme Tour, I felt pretty anxious. I felt uncertain. I felt overwhelmed. I felt unqualified. And this “feeling” was all too familiar and seriously frustrating. I thought I was “over” that insecure, unsure, fearful phase of my life. Wasn’t I?

Just when I’m finding myself standing a little taller,

with my feet more firmly planted,

rooted a little deeper in the truth of who I have been made to be,

when I’m laughing a bit more freely,

loving more open-heartedly,

living moments of fearlessness and total abandon,

….things suddenly get a bit shaky.

Wait. What?

Why does that doubt creep in? Why do old patterns of thinking try to usurp the new?

Yes, I am human, flawed, prone to wander, and a creature of disheartening habits.

But there is also a killjoy; one who seeks to smother every flicker of light.

It whispers “retreat!” and I almost do.

But in that quiet space in Middletown, NY, I recognized with stunning clarity, this truth:

I have found the light that darkness cannot overcome.

In spite of my own frailty and faltering.

It cannot overcome.

Dear Killjoy:

“You have not won”.

 

P.s. click on link “Dear Killjoy” above to listen to the acoustic live track.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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